Journal of Bamidele

I travelled through a memory lane, when loneliness swallow my pride. I was on bed on state of riverie. Outside the house a strong wind had sudden arisen and the disturbed trees became noisy. Flashes of lighting showed through jalousie it was going to rain.

In spite of gloomy atmosphere, the room was bright with sunshine with curtain – less windows thrown open. I lay on my face upwards,my eyes shut, i was clearly weak, my face was drained of colour and it’s usual vitality.

It was now beginning to rain with thunder and lightning, at first large raindrops drummed on the iron roof. It was as though thousands of pebbles, each wrapped separately in a piece of cloth to break it fall, had been let loose from the sky. The drumming of large single drops gave way to a steady downpour. My soul travelled far away from my body. My soul is no more walking in memory lane is now walking in a strange journey. This is mixed feeling of bad and good augur.

  It took me quite a while to regain my mental balance and when I did, I realised, I had fallen asleep while still sitting by the entrance door, I had no idea what time it was and couldn’t say how long I had slept. I laboured to my feet and fumbled my way to the bed, the light has burnt out, and the room was pitch dark. I managed to find my bed and lay down on my back, looking into the darkness. My eyes were clear of sleep as I lay listening to the gale outside. I have experience how much it hurts to look at an empty reflection, to know that you’re not​ the same and stare at someone who’s fading. I’ve become the one person I never thought I’d be; the monster that causes me nothing but misery. Now I turn to Lord, Oh! Lord I want to feel, and I want to love that I lost a long time ago.

© Fasasi Eyitayo S Marvel

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